I, You

I spare you my guts for your hurt is hurting me

Your thoughts are hunting me and your feelings are killing me.

I offer you my ideas for yours are hollow

Yours are pretentious and yours are miserable.

I lend you my ears for your stories are teeming

Your mind is boggling and your mouth is cramming.

I held out my hands for yours were limped

Yours were infected and yours were scarred.

I opened my eyes for your tenets were novel

Your innocence was unraveled and your ignorance is nowhere.

I provided you the light for your path is dim

Your way is far and you are far too long.
I ain’t superwoman

You ain’t superman.

But I can twinkle near you

For I am Stargirl.

If I Were To Write About Life

This topic actually knocks me off my feet every time I am asked to write about such. Well, it is incontestable quite difficult to describe or define “life” in its very logical sense and in a very professional level. Though, it is possible. However, for someone like me who is fond of writing about something and relates it in a more personal stratum, I occasionally find myself trying hard to pen words and let my ideas stream if I were to describe “life” in a manner similar with the former.

So allow me to speak right from my heart. It has been said that life is a precious gift from God. It is, indeed. It is a one-of-a-kind precious gift that must be treasured and valued well. Every moment in each situation must be dealt with proper ease and less fret. No second must be wasted by simply dealing with thins fate might bring. Life is more of a simple “something.” There is more to it than the many definitions a dictionary can ever provide, or Google can ever show.

We, humans, are often preoccupied by the negativities that surround us. Thus, we tend to neglect the very essence of what life means. But if we only dig deep down our hearts, we will comprehend that we do not have to go through a lot of miseries for there are far way a lot of reasons to be thankful than to be miserable. It is inherent, however, for humans to experience troubles and worries. Such events remind us that life is what we make it. More so, life is how we make it. We are the soldiers of our own. We are the battlers of ourselves and of those whom we cared for. We are our own defenders.

Cliché as it may sound but life is nothing but a roller coaster ride. At some point we may experience difficulties. We may shed a river of tears. We may feel that we are left with nothing but ourselves. We might feel that the world has eclipsed on us. But we must always remember that we can always find a bright spot in darkness. We must bear in mind that every hardship is just a trial. Everything happens for a purpose. And most of the time, the purpose is for us to become stronger and more mature individuals; for us to be able to face the world with enough courage; and for us to be able to understand life, better.

The answer to “What is life?” query always depends on the person being asked. And as for me, life can be as tough as walking alone in the desert with nothing except your empty purse, but it can be as happy as a newly born who happened to breathed the world’s not-so-fresh air yet still thankful. Life is jam-packed of lurking delights waiting to be detected. Life is how we live.

Heartbreak Revisited

The last time I got broke I told myself I’m gonna be careful the next time I, you know, fall in love.

It has been a while since I recuperated from a lengthy self-rehabilitation and self-medication of my very heart. It is safe for me to say, I guess, that I have fully recovered all by myself. I mean, without using someone to patch the hole in me. A year, a month, and five days. I had enough. Really. The last time I checked, I felt that I am ready again to disclose my heart for new beginnings, new possibilities, new memories, with a new person.

Recently I thought that I have found the new one. Without me realizing that, oh, it was just a thought. I love a person whom I think does not love me the way I do. In other words, I THINK he is not really into loving me in a romantic level. In other words again, I THINK he is not in love with me.

Every day I always ask myself, why? Why him? Why such a heartbreak? Why again? Why?

I tried to find the answer. Up to this very moment that I am writing this piece, I am asking myself the abovementioned queries. Why him?

I tried to dig even at the very bottom of my mind only to find answers. Why such a heartbreak?

Why again?

Why?

With those several queries, I found only one answer. That is: I do not know. Then is the time I knew I am not successful.

It is hard. It is sad. It is demoralizing. It is disenchanting. It is heartbreaking.

It feels like heartbreak revisited.

It is, indeed.

The hurt is gradually giving me a cut that is absolutely hard to bear. I was caught off-guard. I was cut real fast. I never saw it coming. I was too busy seizing every event with him without me noticing that it was not for real. I was active imagining my future with him. I was too damn serious about us, when in fact he is far away from thinking the same. I was too preoccupied by the thought that we both belong to each other. But I THINK, we do not.

Hope is all I’ve got.

But I want to drop this hope in me. Because the more I hold on to this, the more painful it gets. Every day, every hour, every minute, every second, every clock’s tic…I am wounded. It is giving me the feeling that makes my heart skip a beat.

For now, I do not know where I am heading. I do not know where to situate myself. I do not know where this pain will bring me. I do not know what this means. I do not know what to think.

All I know is I am hurting.

Akala

Siya na

Hindi pala

Ano ba

Maling akala

Akala’y masaya

Akala’y tunay

Akala’y habambuhay

Akalang namatay

Naghingalo

O Diyos ko

Hindi na mapagtanto

Huminto…

Tumigil…

Umaasang lilipas.


(UPSOUND Hiling - Silent Sanctuary)